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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

In need on encouragement

Well here I am, these past couple of weeks have been hard for me. I find myself struggling to hang on to a thread of familiarity, something that reminds me of me. I stare at myself in the mirror and I no longer see me. I look at my pictures and wonder who is this woman I'm starring at? No, it has nothing to do with my sisterlocks but more to do with my presence or lack there of. Lately I just feel so empty. I mean I feel like I'm stuck in a never ending cycle of foolishness. I wake up I go to class, I eat, I come home I study, I go to church twice a week, I read my word but still I feel so empty. I feel like the world is passing me by, I feel like my life is passing me by and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to slow things down so that I can feel whole again. I read a book once that spoke of a man who went on safari in Africa and got some natives to be his guide, apparently it should have taken them about a week to get half way through their journey but it only took them about threes days and the man's guides stopped and sat down and would not move. When he asked them why they had stopped they said to him we have moved too fast and we need to wait for our souls to catch up. Is that what has happened? Have I moved so fast the my soul is still in my past chillin? This may not make any sense to you but I am really treading in unfamiliar water here. I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis and I'm only in my twenties. HELP!

9 comments:

sunsail said...

Hey, hun! I've been there before. In fact, I'm there like clockwork. I think you should listen to yourself during these phases. You are trying to tell yourself something deeper than the everyday hustle and bustle. Just chill and go with the flow. This too shall pass, and hopefully, you'll be a bit wiser, too!

Shoot me an email regarding the templates thing. Which template are you trying to download? What is the error message you're getting? I'll try to help. sunsailblogger at gmail dot com.

Anonymous said...

I like your headbands with the flowers. They are cool.
You might want to be evaluated for depression by your doctor.

Kay exquisite said...

@ anonymous, thank for the compliment about the headbands. I know I'm not depressed just sometimes life happens and you have to adjust to it. No depression just temporary adjustment issues.

Felicia said...

We all need encouragement from time to time. Don't feel bad for asking for it, that's where your real courage lies! Sometimes the day to day, Monday -Friday routine can get to us all. Close your eyes. Have a cup of tea. Pray-ask and you will receive. I wish you blessings and peace!!!

Brenda said...

If I may recommend a book I found enlightening, "Everyday Enlightenment, The Twelve Gateways to Personal Growth" by Dan Millman. Also, if I may recommend yoga and meditation. At the moment I'm reading "Tapping the Power Within" by Iyanla Vanzant

Anonymous said...

There is a book called "Hinds feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. read that woman of GOd and you will truly be blessed!!!

Crisi said...

You are a very beautiful young lady, fill your life with work for God and he will send the right person to fill that void for you. You seem to be on the right pathway.Be blessed.

Crisi

Joel said...

I find that walking,sunshine and fresh air helps a lot in clearing your thoughts. It allows divine wisdom and guidance to enter and give you the the confidence that you need to continue on your journey. I often use it when I feel down and it helps.

Joel

Damez said...

You are very attractive and intelligent. Have you had a loss recently?
Sometimes a person has to mourn a loss if there is one,like a pet or relative etc, and then replace it with something else that they like. That should help to lift the spirits.