Saturday, October 10, 2009

Redemption~Learning to Love myself...

Redemtion~Learning to love myself.
What was my redemption? I've been liberated from bondage of the views and expectations of others.

Just being own my own and far away from home has sparked a lot of self reflection in. I’ve really been evaluating myself and previous friendships and previous relationships and the reasons why they worked and they didn’t and it surprised me to realized how thin the line between the two were. The biggest difference was my perception of myself at the specific time. I’m sure like many of you I’ve been in relationships were I just felt I needed to stress or even prove my feelings to the other party and I never realized it then because truly I just thought that’s who I was. I care about people a lot and I like to show them that but now I realize that maybe I was trying to prove it to myself. I was trying so hard for their approval, love and affection that I lost myself in the midst of it all. So now I’m beginning to realize more who I am in God, as a person, as a woman and as a partner. Its so funny how life’s experiences are all lined up to clarify future life’s questions. First step to learning how to love is truly learning what things make me happy. Second step is doing those things until the joy in my spirit just burst and spills over into my reality. Surprisingly even in the midst of some of my loneliest hours I am so happy. I feel blessed, I feel so loved by those who matter and as far away as I am from my Mother and Sister I feel closer to them than ever before. I guess what I needed all along was separation from the negativity that unknowingly was draining me. This chapter in my life seems to be one of discovery, challenges, peaks and plateaus, fulfillment, and most of all Growth. I wonder whats around tomorrows corner?
Until next time,

Be blessed and self-sufficient Know that you are wonderfully and beautifully made. Know that even in your darkest hour God is there to be a comforter, a friend, a lover, a partner, or just a silent listener. And if it’s your darkest hour things can only get brighter and just think how miraculous the light will be!